We all think of ourselves as nice people, but are we? How often do you see someone acting in a way you consider not nice? Was that you recently? Did you cut someone off in traffic as you hurried to get somewhere?
I bet that you could be nicer. I bet you would like to be nicer. Here are some ways.
1 … accept yourself, you know you’re not the nicest person. You don’t like that, or you would have stopped reading by now. We all have rough edges that rub others the wrong way. We don’t like that about ourselves. Humans have tried to change that since the beginning of time.
2. …accept others; now that you admit to having rough edges realize that others have them too. When you encounter those rough spots rubbing together there is friction.
3. …. Be genuine; when you encounter that friction don’t let it start a fire. we sense that friction as anger or fear. . Ask yourself instead, “Is that anger or fear justified”?” usually the fear or anger lacks justification .take a deep breath and relax. You are safe, maybe.
4. … be curious; now that you feel safe you can be genuine in letting yourself be curious. What marvels does the world offer you?
When a stranger mentions, “how nice the day is”, he is seeking to connect with you, never mind that he is armed like Rambo. He seeks to connect, not kill. We all want to connect with others, so does he? Yet, obviously he fears something in the world. What is it?
5. … open yourself to the being of others; Rambo obviously wants to connect with you. Yet he dresses from a place of danger and fear. I bet he wants to share his fears. Can you stay calm as he opens those fears?
6. … be positive, if Rambo wanted to kill you, you’d be dead. He doesn’t want to kill. He wants to talk about the weather. He wants to connect. If it is raining, “We need the rain”, ignore the chance of floods.
When Rambo mentions the flooding, reply how it will wash away the dead leaves and branches. The streets will be clean. 7. … own your feelings, if you fear the flood will wash out the bridge say, “I fear it might wash out the bridge.” That will let Rambo make up his own mind.
8. … respect confidences, if Rambo tells you he fears that the Canadians will attack, accept it as his fear. Let him tell you more if he wishes.
9. … accept complements simply, if Rambo says, “You are a nice person.”
Thank him and let it go.
So, even in your nightmares you can be nice. Now can you be nice in the light of day? Try it and let me know how these ideas work.
Hint; if you really want to implement these get a partner, who will call you out when your naught and not nice.
As all Ways, Seek Joy,
Coach, Dr. DaveI bet you think; you’re nice?